[Today, Ferran is doing some outside cleaning, despite the frequent buzzing of the large ladybug that keeps fluttering onto him and then away again. He's doing his best to ignore it as he scrubs the outside of his window, but there's only so much he can do when it lands on his forehead and starts tippy-tapping on his face with its legs. With an annoyed grumble, he shoos the creature off, though it seems uncertain about where it wants to finally land.]
Stop being so fussy. I'll take care of it.
[Refreshing your supply of stopgaps in lieu of a true solution, you mean.
Ferran pauses, frowning deeply at the sound of the vision that's been haunting him. Maybe the nightmare-suppressing items he's acquired are only prolonging the process rather than fixing anything, but it's what he has right now, and they're working fine. In a deeper, much less pleasant tone:]
I don't want to hear anything from you, either.
[He is not expecting any visitors, thinking he's alone enough to speak aloud to the phantom without any questioning.]
That's rather rude, Ferran. Is that how you always greet your guests?
[Hans is aware that Ferran is talking to himself, because surely his friend would've at least offered him tea or at least acknowledge his presence if he knew that he was here. It's just more fun to give him a hard time, especially since Hans is comfortable and taking up space on his couch, the prince lying across it with his hands behind his head.
As for the reason why Hans is here? Guess the prince has found himself bored again and this time, didn't even bother to knock before letting himself in. Okay, it's not boredom that's led him here, but details. Details that might come up later.]
[Ferran stiffens in surprise, not quite jumping at the sound of Hans's voice, but certainly affected enough to come through physically.]
W—
[He leans forward to properly look through the window, and yep—there's Hans, just lying on his couch like he belongs there. He's so baffled by the sight of it that he momentarily forgets he's been caught talking to himself.]
[As Ferran peeks over at him through the window, Hans moves one of his arms up to wave at him. He seems quite comfortable, doesn't he? The prince has really made himself at home while showing zero manners about it.]
But if I did that, I wouldn't be able to see your amusing expression.
[Besides, he did that last time! Got to keep things interesting, mostly for himself.] Don't tell me you aren't happy to see me.
[He's not denying it, but listen... He lets out a brief sigh of exasperation.]
Give me a second and I'll be in. I can see you already made yourself at home, so I guess we've gotten that out of the way.
[So he'll circle around to the door, wondering what in the world his life is now. Meanwhile, Rossa the giant ladybug decides to say hello to the visitor, too—fluttering in through the window and landing on the top of the couch so she can shuffle and get a good look at him...]
[Is that a cheerful note in Hans's voice? Slightly, mostly because the prince is having his fun and not thinking about the multiple issues that's been plaguing his mind since his dream. He needed a distraction and luckily, Ferran's providing one.
...Along with this giant ladybug that's landed a little too close for his taste. He doesn't particularly like big inspects and he will swat them if needed. Hans gives Rossa a stink eye, and makes a shooing motion with his hand.]
[Ferran closes the door behind him as the ladybug seems to take the shooing motion as an indication she should, in fact, shuffle slightly closer.]
Don't mind her, she doesn't listen to anybody.
[He'll step over into the kitchen and set some water to boil for tea; he'd half expect Hans to do it himself with the way he just waltzed in unannounced, but that would mean putting in effort. That's a job for peasants, right?]
[He's getting disrespected by a bug. It's a new low, even for him. Hans lightly swats towards Rossa's direction, but he slowly straightens, sitting properly on the couch as Ferran steps in.
As for 'what's up...'
Does he divulge all the details now? Ferran appears to be asking, but Hans prefers to have some sort of lead up before going into those specifics. Besides, it gives him some time, a delay of the inevitable as he works up whatever courage he has to talk about his... problems.]
You mean I can't just visit a good friend of mine? Maybe I wanted to see how you were doing.
[Always with the accusations! Typical Hans, trying to deflect from the real issue at hand. But he'll go along with it, for now.]
If you're really curious, I'm fine. Nothing special going on either way. [At this proclamation, the bug makes some very audible scratching on the couch fabric. He turns to glance in that direction, like he's giving the thing a side eye.] ... Just thinking about taking a trip outside town, is all.
[So, Ferran's being boring today. That makes him feel less guilty about popping up in his home unannounced, not that he really felt so in the first place. Hans is well-aware that something's off with him and usually he's in better spirits when someone else is around him. No more talking to himself and stuff like that.
Although, he's aware that he's not always the nicest of company either, especially around people that already know what's he really like.]
I would ask you to continue on, but I really don't want to hear about it. [...] Besides, you're more curious about me, right? You just want to ask me about the nightmare I had.
[Ferran doesn't bother stopping himself from rolling his eyes as he folds his arms and leans against the counter. The level of projection is truly impressive here, but he'll allow the change in subject with no argument.]
I asked you everything I wanted to ask while we were in it.
[He hasn't given it too much more thought, really. It didn't reveal much more than what Ferran already knew, other than the single-mindedness Hans approached that goal with, despite lacking the self awareness to even know why he wanted it.]
But you clearly have something to say about it. [...] I do wonder if you actually managed to come up with an answer.
[Hans almost appears to deflate because of Ferran's reaction. He honestly thought Ferran would show a little more curiosity or something, but he nearly looks unimpressed by this.
.....
He's going to take a moment or two to recoup, just making sure that he doesn't appear sulky or anything embarrassing like that. Hopefully Ferran doesn't mind some awkward silence for a few seconds.]
.....I haven't.
[A quiet response compared to Hans's earlier gusto for sure.]
[Ferran tilts his head and considers the man from where he stands; is it really that disappointing that Ferran hasn't been preoccupied with Hans's dream? Has he humored the prince so much he expects him to react with enthusiasm every time? He doesn't know what to make of it.]
I didn't think so.
[But he's not going to shut down the conversation. He's not that heartless. (Unlike some people.)]
[For once, Hans actually backs from the conversation, clamping up as he stews in his thoughts once more. Does he talk about Susato and Beatrix? No, those are separate conversations, meant for those specific individuals. So, with that in mind, what else is there to talk about?
Maybe he hoped that Ferran would... help with his thoughts concerning his goals, but didn't he already try that in the dream itself? He did, so what does he actually want?
...
Right now, it's best to just turn this conversation on him.]
I mean, we can talk about the fact that you were ready to dedicate your life to me in the dream.
[Because Ferran's life is so miserable back home. There's definitely something going on though, so Hans actually doesn't doubt it. Nonetheless, he seems back to his normal self, smiling at his friend and awaiting his response.]
[He's paying more attention now, as much as he's capable, to Hans's mannerisms. He's clearly debating internally what to bring up... and the end result seems to be putting aside his own personal feelings for the sake of digging more into Ferran's.
He speaks frankly.]
You already know I'm dying back home, Hans, even aside from what I'm being forced to do. Are those really the issues you want to get into?
[It's asked more out of a place of curiosity than judgment, though some of the latter may slip in, too. He sighs with a shake of his head, then clarifies; he won't hide his feelings from the man if he wants to hear them.]
[He remembers, because Ferran is definitely one of the few people he knows that has an even more terrible life back home than him. While execution is still a possibility to him, Ferran is dying while being manipulated by his 'guardian.' Thinking about all that once more, Hans isn't sure if he feels sympathetic, but he's not happy about it either.]
I wanted to talk about how you wanted to be with me. Maybe if this was a one time occurrence, I would've ignored it.
[Dreams are weird and all that, but there's that whole incident on the moon and sure, Ferran was strange there too, but it's hard to ignore what's right in front of him.]
But there was also that time when we were on the moon. I may have been a wolf during that incident, but I remember everything that was said.
[It's hard for him to not remember that time on the moon, however much he'd like to scrub his memory of it. The things he expressed there... the way he acted. His utter lack of sympathy for everything that got in his way.]
Yeah, well...
[A little self-conscious, he turns his gaze away and rubs the back of his neck.]
What about it? [He doesn't really know what to say. It's not like he's going to deny it, or that he feels like he needs to defend his feelings. He knows his reasons.] Was it surprising to you?
[An almost sheepish look crosses the young prince, with Hans bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head. Saying all of this out loud, he feels nearly ridiculous, but in the end, he is surprised still. He's known for a long time about Ferran's draw to him, but maybe not to this degree.]
[It's a weird expression to see on Hans, when Ferran knows he's not simply bluffing. Though he's momentarily distracted by the kettle starting to boil, he mostly keeps his eye on Hans as he removes it and turns off the heating plate.]
And here I thought you were good at reading people. [He's only partly kidding, his voice a little lighter, maybe partly to deflect from his own sheepishness. To help with that distraction, he starts getting on brewing some tea.] Or maybe I've gotten better at hiding things.
[There was that whole incident with the cupid arrows, but he thought that was just Ferran's way of shutting him up. Of course, a lot of feelings sort of happened as well, and at that time, he was struggling a lot more with accepting certain things. Now? He's in a slightly better place, enough to sometimes question what he wants in life. Maybe he wants to be king, maybe he just wants to live a normal life. The uncertainty of his fate back home exists as well, but he's given up on putting too much thought about it.
He can't control anything about that right now anyway.
Hans sighs just lightly, his eyes closing for a second, but it's clear he's taking this a little more seriously.]
We'll say that you've gotten better at hiding things. [For the sake of Hans's pride and everything, he thinks he's great at reading people still.] But your feelings haven't disappeared at all, have they?
[Hans smiles just slightly, somewhat amused, but he's also touched in a way.]
[The arrow's effects back then were certainly... interesting, and he might have reacted more strongly to them in the aftermath than he should have, but it certainly served as a spark to make him think. That was far from the only thing to make his feelings progress, though.]
They don't tend to do that, no.
[Once he gets feelings, they're kind of there forever! Lucky him. He pauses momentarily to watch Hans, but turns to pour the two cups so he can bring them over to the living area. He lets out a sigh through his nose as he hands Hans his tea.]
[Ferran forever stuck to have feelings for people. Hans can't relate and that seems like a rather unfortunate fate, if you ask him. He's glad that he often doesn't get honest feelings about people, with some very few exceptions, although Ferran falls somewhere in there. He's glad that he can be honest with him and he's glad that Ferran stuck around despite knowing that he's far from being a prince charming.
Actually, he's appreciative for a lot of things Ferran has done, besides the obvious. It's been over a year now since he's known and has supported Hans throughout that entire time.
He finds himself slowly blinking, taking the offered cup while grabbing Ferran's wrist with his free hand.]
Many will disagree, but I don't mind. [Hans looks up at Ferran, almost expectantly.]
[Honestly, for everything Hans has done for him at this point, he'd consider himself a horrible person if he left the prince behind for something he did that doesn't even affect anything here.
He pauses when Hans takes his wrist, giving him a look that's somewhat suspect. He doesn't even think about pulling away, though.]
What's that look for?
[What is your game, Hans... but Ferran doesn't seem annoyed despite his almost accusatory tone—just curious. If he thought Hans was at all likely to reciprocate his feelings, he might think he had the answer, but...]
[Wow, how rude!! Hans doesn't look offended by the suspicious look crossing his face though, because he probably deserves it one way or another. He can acknowledge that.]
Can't tell when someone wants to kiss you, Ferran?
[There's a slight tease in Hans's voice as he continues to look at him. There's no going back now, not on his end, unless his friend doesn't want this at all. He's a lot of terrible things, but he's not going to force Ferran to kiss him.
Although, he did just admit having feelings for him still. That must count for something. The prince isn't entirely sure if he feels the same way, but he likes being around him. Is that enough?]
[He blinks in surprise momentarily, but his expression soon shifts to exasperation.]
I know to expect it when that person is emotionally well adjusted.
[He doesn't hesitate after that, though—he's careful to keep his own mug out of the way, but he bends down to press his lips against Hans's to give him what he apparently wants. Ferran might not know why that is, but he's not going to look this particular gift horse in the mouth just yet.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
10/20... ferran's house lol
Stop being so fussy. I'll take care of it.
[Refreshing your supply of stopgaps in lieu of a true solution, you mean.
Ferran pauses, frowning deeply at the sound of the vision that's been haunting him. Maybe the nightmare-suppressing items he's acquired are only prolonging the process rather than fixing anything, but it's what he has right now, and they're working fine. In a deeper, much less pleasant tone:]
I don't want to hear anything from you, either.
[He is not expecting any visitors, thinking he's alone enough to speak aloud to the phantom without any questioning.]
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[Hans is aware that Ferran is talking to himself, because surely his friend would've at least offered him tea or at least acknowledge his presence if he knew that he was here. It's just more fun to give him a hard time, especially since Hans is comfortable and taking up space on his couch, the prince lying across it with his hands behind his head.
As for the reason why Hans is here? Guess the prince has found himself bored again and this time, didn't even bother to knock before letting himself in. Okay, it's not boredom that's led him here, but details. Details that might come up later.]
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W—
[He leans forward to properly look through the window, and yep—there's Hans, just lying on his couch like he belongs there. He's so baffled by the sight of it that he momentarily forgets he's been caught talking to himself.]
You could have knocked or something??
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But if I did that, I wouldn't be able to see your amusing expression.
[Besides, he did that last time! Got to keep things interesting, mostly for himself.] Don't tell me you aren't happy to see me.
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[He's not denying it, but listen... He lets out a brief sigh of exasperation.]
Give me a second and I'll be in. I can see you already made yourself at home, so I guess we've gotten that out of the way.
[So he'll circle around to the door, wondering what in the world his life is now. Meanwhile, Rossa the giant ladybug decides to say hello to the visitor, too—fluttering in through the window and landing on the top of the couch so she can shuffle and get a good look at him...]
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[Is that a cheerful note in Hans's voice? Slightly, mostly because the prince is having his fun and not thinking about the multiple issues that's been plaguing his mind since his dream. He needed a distraction and luckily, Ferran's providing one.
...Along with this giant ladybug that's landed a little too close for his taste. He doesn't particularly like big inspects and he will swat them if needed. Hans gives Rossa a stink eye, and makes a shooing motion with his hand.]
Go, leave me.
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Don't mind her, she doesn't listen to anybody.
[He'll step over into the kitchen and set some water to boil for tea; he'd half expect Hans to do it himself with the way he just waltzed in unannounced, but that would mean putting in effort. That's a job for peasants, right?]
So what's up?
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As for 'what's up...'
Does he divulge all the details now? Ferran appears to be asking, but Hans prefers to have some sort of lead up before going into those specifics. Besides, it gives him some time, a delay of the inevitable as he works up whatever courage he has to talk about his... problems.]
You mean I can't just visit a good friend of mine? Maybe I wanted to see how you were doing.
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[Always with the accusations! Typical Hans, trying to deflect from the real issue at hand. But he'll go along with it, for now.]
If you're really curious, I'm fine. Nothing special going on either way. [At this proclamation, the bug makes some very audible scratching on the couch fabric. He turns to glance in that direction, like he's giving the thing a side eye.] ... Just thinking about taking a trip outside town, is all.
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Although, he's aware that he's not always the nicest of company either, especially around people that already know what's he really like.]
I would ask you to continue on, but I really don't want to hear about it. [...] Besides, you're more curious about me, right? You just want to ask me about the nightmare I had.
[Huh, guess they are just going to go into it.]
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I asked you everything I wanted to ask while we were in it.
[He hasn't given it too much more thought, really. It didn't reveal much more than what Ferran already knew, other than the single-mindedness Hans approached that goal with, despite lacking the self awareness to even know why he wanted it.]
But you clearly have something to say about it. [...] I do wonder if you actually managed to come up with an answer.
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.....
He's going to take a moment or two to recoup, just making sure that he doesn't appear sulky or anything embarrassing like that. Hopefully Ferran doesn't mind some awkward silence for a few seconds.]
.....I haven't.
[A quiet response compared to Hans's earlier gusto for sure.]
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I didn't think so.
[But he's not going to shut down the conversation. He's not that heartless. (Unlike some people.)]
Then what about it has been on your mind?
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Maybe he hoped that Ferran would... help with his thoughts concerning his goals, but didn't he already try that in the dream itself? He did, so what does he actually want?
...
Right now, it's best to just turn this conversation on him.]
I mean, we can talk about the fact that you were ready to dedicate your life to me in the dream.
[Because Ferran's life is so miserable back home. There's definitely something going on though, so Hans actually doesn't doubt it. Nonetheless, he seems back to his normal self, smiling at his friend and awaiting his response.]
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He speaks frankly.]
You already know I'm dying back home, Hans, even aside from what I'm being forced to do. Are those really the issues you want to get into?
[It's asked more out of a place of curiosity than judgment, though some of the latter may slip in, too. He sighs with a shake of his head, then clarifies; he won't hide his feelings from the man if he wants to hear them.]
I mean, we can. I guess.
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I wanted to talk about how you wanted to be with me. Maybe if this was a one time occurrence, I would've ignored it.
[Dreams are weird and all that, but there's that whole incident on the moon and sure, Ferran was strange there too, but it's hard to ignore what's right in front of him.]
But there was also that time when we were on the moon. I may have been a wolf during that incident, but I remember everything that was said.
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Yeah, well...
[A little self-conscious, he turns his gaze away and rubs the back of his neck.]
What about it? [He doesn't really know what to say. It's not like he's going to deny it, or that he feels like he needs to defend his feelings. He knows his reasons.] Was it surprising to you?
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[An almost sheepish look crosses the young prince, with Hans bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head. Saying all of this out loud, he feels nearly ridiculous, but in the end, he is surprised still. He's known for a long time about Ferran's draw to him, but maybe not to this degree.]
I didn't realize you liked me quite that much.
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[It's a weird expression to see on Hans, when Ferran knows he's not simply bluffing. Though he's momentarily distracted by the kettle starting to boil, he mostly keeps his eye on Hans as he removes it and turns off the heating plate.]
And here I thought you were good at reading people. [He's only partly kidding, his voice a little lighter, maybe partly to deflect from his own sheepishness. To help with that distraction, he starts getting on brewing some tea.] Or maybe I've gotten better at hiding things.
[You're proud of that, are you?]
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He can't control anything about that right now anyway.
Hans sighs just lightly, his eyes closing for a second, but it's clear he's taking this a little more seriously.]
We'll say that you've gotten better at hiding things. [For the sake of Hans's pride and everything, he thinks he's great at reading people still.] But your feelings haven't disappeared at all, have they?
[Hans smiles just slightly, somewhat amused, but he's also touched in a way.]
You have awful tastes, Ferran.
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They don't tend to do that, no.
[Once he gets feelings, they're kind of there forever! Lucky him. He pauses momentarily to watch Hans, but turns to pour the two cups so he can bring them over to the living area. He lets out a sigh through his nose as he hands Hans his tea.]
We can agree to disagree.
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Actually, he's appreciative for a lot of things Ferran has done, besides the obvious. It's been over a year now since he's known and has supported Hans throughout that entire time.
He finds himself slowly blinking, taking the offered cup while grabbing Ferran's wrist with his free hand.]
Many will disagree, but I don't mind. [Hans looks up at Ferran, almost expectantly.]
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He pauses when Hans takes his wrist, giving him a look that's somewhat suspect. He doesn't even think about pulling away, though.]
What's that look for?
[What is your game, Hans... but Ferran doesn't seem annoyed despite his almost accusatory tone—just curious. If he thought Hans was at all likely to reciprocate his feelings, he might think he had the answer, but...]
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Can't tell when someone wants to kiss you, Ferran?
[There's a slight tease in Hans's voice as he continues to look at him. There's no going back now, not on his end, unless his friend doesn't want this at all. He's a lot of terrible things, but he's not going to force Ferran to kiss him.
Although, he did just admit having feelings for him still. That must count for something. The prince isn't entirely sure if he feels the same way, but he likes being around him. Is that enough?]
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I know to expect it when that person is emotionally well adjusted.
[He doesn't hesitate after that, though—he's careful to keep his own mug out of the way, but he bends down to press his lips against Hans's to give him what he apparently wants. Ferran might not know why that is, but he's not going to look this particular gift horse in the mouth just yet.]
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